I Love the word “Yes” and Often the Right Response is “No”
Yesterday a really good friend, who I love a lot, who has often been a mentor, made a request of me that would cost me a good amount of time in an already busy week. I really wanted to say “yes” to her. I felt my desire to oblige, yet physiologically, I also felt the pressure of adding one more thing on my very full plate. I took a breath and explained why I could not meet her request. She was fine with it and the conversation happily continued.
Upon reflection I thought how much this is an issue for so many of us full plate types.
My good friend Pat Haddock is a communication expert and trainer, I asked her to share some of her wisdom here on this topic. Please give a warm welcome to our first guest blogger.
Setting Boundaries by Patricia Haddock
“No” is a small word with great power. Saying no more often can be hard, but it is one of the best tools you have for putting more time in your life.
Start by keeping your goals in mind. Say no to anything that takes you away from your goals or does not increase your productivity. This doesn’t mean that you avoid unpleasant or difficult tasks. The key is to keep your goals and priorities in focus.
Saying “yes” when you mean “no” can lead to feelings of resentment and anger. This can be more damaging to your relationships in the long run than saying “no” when you mean “no.”
Sometimes, saying “no” isn’t easy. Many people were raised to please others, not themselves and feel that if they say “no,” they will lose friends and associates. So, how do you say “no” without alienating others?
• Speak courteously and politely.
• Make “no” the first word you say and keep your statements simple and direct. “No, I can’t do that.” “No, I won’t be able to do that.”
• Give a reason if appropriate, but keep it short and straightforward.
• Show that you understand the situation. Remind people of your roles and responsibilities.
• State the consequences of saying “yes.”
If you’re not sure whether you want to say “no” or “yes,” ask for time to think it over. Be specific about when you will have an answer.
You can find out more about Pat at http://developingasaprofessional.blogspot.com http://abcbusinesswriting.blogspot.com/
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